I feel dreadful!

So you all know the little girl in my classroom I lovingly refer to as "my runt." Remember, she got passed around from class to class, and even school to school, until she ended up with me. Well, on an average day, she is simply annoying and disruptive. As I feared, her presence has completely altered the dynamic of my classroom. She certainly functions far better with us than she has anywhere else, but unfortunately, because of her, we are noticeably less efficient than we used to be. Even considering the other trouble kids, we were building a system that worked for us. Still, everyone needs a home, a place to feel welcome, and I am more than happy to provide this place for her. But it is so difficult! She doesn't do herself any favors, either. She creates conflict and is a constant disruption and distraction. She is not emotionally in touch, so she feels no guilt or remorse... imagine trying to discipline and mold her behavior so that she can be successful! Without a doubt one of my most challenging tasks. Thankfully, she will finally receive her psychological consultation in a couple of weeks. I truly hope it leads to her receiving the services she needs, because even though I know I am a significant and positive presence for her, she needs more than I can give her. Anyway, point being, I had to be so hard on her today. I spoke more forcefully than I've had to speak to any child, or any person for that matter. She was completely out of control, and I knew I had to do it, but I literally had to brace myself. Even though they were just a few words, they took so much out of me. I let her sit in the office alone until the end of the day (devastating for her, because she thrives on attention). When I picked her up she acknowledged her words and actions, and apologized and promised she would never behave that way again. Sadly, I've heard it all many times before. I told her I accepted her apology, but I wasn't sure I believed her anymore. She says tomorrow she's going to show me that she means it.
I'm trying to remain hopeful. I hate feeling this jaded.

CIAO, CARA FAMIGLIA!!!

Well, I finally did it . . . I think! Vamos a ver. After joining the blog I kept fishing around for how to enter a new message. Boy was I slow! I was rather embarrassed when I figured it out; after all, pretty user friendly. As you know, Mom went off to Lima yesterday, and though it´s only been a day, I find her being away difficult to get used to. As I mentioned last night, I kept wondering how I took the separation for a year in Afghanistan! Lots of folks do it, of course, but at this stage in life we don´t plan on doing it too often. Started reading Jimmy Carter´s Palestine Peace Not Apartheid. Glad you sent it down! I´ll keep this short since we have already had about 4 short apagones today. Not been the norm recently, but it´s a lot more like when we first arrived. Like old times, no es cierto? Let´s see if this first message gets posted. DADAAAA!

Not much to tell... but I'm telling it anyway....

OK, so I finally check my email and this is what I find!!! woohoo! Well, unfortunately I have nothing to tell. No drunk girls rearranging my bathroom. No disorderly kids giving me a migraine. Hmmm...but I am doing good at work. Some templates that I worked on with my friend Em from work came back with no revisions. So apparently we did something right! :) And now I'm working on a Nascar Template for 2007. Trying to get into a racecar drivers head. whatever. zoom zoom... a few flares here...Kasey Khane's floating head...hahahah oh, that would only make sense if you saw some things that our client put together as an example. Hm. Oops.

But other than that just getting ready for my Peru trip. Almost there. only two weeks left.

OH WAIT! i just got a "save the date" thing and Alexandra Arens is getting married in October in Peru. i guess I'll just have to go again in October! :)

Alright, i hope I have bored you to tears. And hopefully you won't bash me on the head the next time you see me. Ok, now I must go back to dishes and making my eggplant bake...trying to get lunch/dinner prepared for the rest of the week. So far I've only gotten my pasta with tuna sauce all set.

Love yous. Byeeeee!

odd night

this is gonna sound made up, but it’s not. friday night, just before 4am, I was awakened by the sound of my doorbell ringing non-stop. thinking it might be my landlady with some emergency, I stumble half awake to the door, but when I open it I find three drunk girls looking for someone I’ve never heard of (two of them had bottles of beer and were smoking). i’m about to close the door, when they ask for lucy, mirella’s daughter, saying they used to live here with her. so they know my landlady and her daughter. i tell them lucy doesn’t live here anymore, and am again about to close the door when they start begging to come in to use the bathroom.

in my right mind i probably wouldn’t have let them in, but i was half asleep, in a daze. two of them went into the bathroom together, while the other told me about how my room used to be hers like 15 years ago, and she’d painted the room purple, and the ceilings had been yellow, and there’d been, like, 17 people living in the basement, and bla, and bla, and bla… and finally we realize her friends are taking a while. so she knocks on the door, and they come out. as I’m escorting them out, one of them says, “i wonder why mirella didn’t answer her doorbell?” ya think it might have something to do with it being 4am?

at this point i have to piss, so i go into the bathroom and find everything that i keep on the sink (toothpaste, razor, shaving cream) in the cabinet under the sink, and everything that goes in the cabinet is either in the sink, on the floor, or in the shower! stupid drunk girls. a very odd night.

Long week...

I've just come to the end of what has felt like a very long week. I'm beyond exhausted! Today the kids were really off their rocker because of the sprinkling of snow we finally got. I cannot describe the excitement. Too bad, when we walked outside the sun had melted all of it away. I personally can't wait for another dose of the white stuff, but let's make it for real next time. Another reason why the kids were a little crazed is because I was gone all morning, with a sub covering my class. All the K-1 teachers had to attend a demonstration lesson by a representative of the National Urban Alliance (NUA). It's basically the next thing that's going to turn Bridgeport schools around. Actually, the presentation and debriefing were excellent. I got so much out of it, and was really pumped to do some teaching.....only to come back to a group of super anxious kiddies. Oh well, so it goes, it's Friday. I'm off now, with a not-so-friendly headache that's come to keep me company, and a lovely couch waiting to coax me into a much needed nap.

Welcome! Bienvenidos!

I've been thinking recently about how expensive and complicated it has become for us all to keep each other up-to-date on all the big and little things we have going on. Now, this blog could never replace the sound of your voices, and email is still great, but here is something new. I know when I have big news, after I've told two or three people, I'm kinda bored of my own story. Here's a place to get the word out to a bunch of us, all at once. Even if there is no news, and all you have is a thought that won't quit running around your head...share it! Whether it's a happy post or a frustrated one, family is here to share the joy and the burden, so post away!

I realize I have very few family email adresses (my point exactly), so please send any you have my way, and I will invite them to join our blog!